I do not know, around the friends, how many people in loneliness, sadness, trouble when the psychological silent sigh: “why no one understands me”.
Why do I feel like no one understands me? Feeling lonely and helpless
To be honest, this sentence I have repeatedly lamented in the bottom of my heart many times, in my high school to college graduation period, such ideas frequently appear.
Not only now, the ancients also have a similar feeling: “gold is easy to get, confidante is difficult to find”. These verses are expressed to find a real understanding of their confidant is really too difficult. And in this society, it is even more difficult to meet a friend who is real understanding of you.
The high development of material civilization, the edification of interests, is mostly between people in the interests of intersection and mutual defense. In addition, the high-speed development of society makes people have no time, no energy and no patience listen to others confided, not to mention a profound understanding. The time of contact between people is a lot shorter.
A true friend may take many years of communication to establish. It takes time to stay together between each other to integrate and deepen the understanding. Just as the couple’s feelings run into each other, and the real society often does not provide such opportunities.
Perhaps a lot of people around are just general friends, and most of them intersect for profit. On the one hand, we are eager to be understood. On the other hand, we do not dare to self-expose too deep. Exposure too deep will make them feel unsafe. Therefore, social media has become a way for many of us to express our hearts!
Perhaps the more developed the material civilization, the more lagging the spiritual civilization, the more difficult it is to meet real friends.
I want to express the following:
We sighed when we were sad: Why did no one understand me. Did we ask ourselves: Have we ever understood someone else?
I have met a lot of friends who lament that they are not understood by others. Some friends even complain about it, hate their relatives and friends around, and even the whole society. Some friends are so self-complaining and self-pity, which was the way I used to express not being understood. But something wakes me up by accident.
First: why do you want others to understand you, what obligations and responsibilities to understand you, why do you ask the people around you to understand you – to make yourself very noble, or very poor. Therefore,it’s reasonable that no one is obliged to understand you or want to understand you. So, you know, no one in this society should understand you.
Second: you are never just by yourself. Your heart has always had a “you”. So you could not be out of the urgent need to be understood by others, because you can understand yourself. We are born to be a person who can understand yourself, who accompanies you from birth to death. You always do, but you don’t know.
This is my own personal experience, when I really understand that I can understand myself, then self-pity and complaints are reduced, and I become a little stronger.
So, friends, when you feel not understood by others, please remember: you can always understand yourself. After all, if you met people who understand you, you will know how to be grateful. If you didn’t encounter anyone who understands you or if they misunderstood you, you can still fade!
What do you do when no one understands you
If you care too much about what other people think, no matter what they think of you, how they talk about you, or what you do will all stop you from moving forward in life. Maybe you’ll give up what you want for fear of being judged by others or most people. Maybe you’ll know how others will react to your behavior through your previous experience and not to improve your life.
A certain level of concern for other people’s perceptions of your behavior can help you get helpful feedback and help you stay stable. But caring too much about other people’s opinions will keep you in the same place, and will keep you from pursuing the life you really want. So how do you overcome this problem and do what you want by finding more inner freedom?
Often, people have many different ideas and opinions about this problem. But you can learn what to do when no one understands you in 5 ways.
1. People don’t actually see you the way you want
First of all, people don’t actually see you the way you want, or they don’t focus on what you’re doing. People tend to be stuck worrying about what other people think. In my experience, I’ve found that a large part of it is because people think about what you’re thinking and doing. You may be worried that others will laugh or talk about what you’re doing during this week or the rest of the year.
But the reality is that they tend to be too busy caring about themselves, and they worry about what others will think of them. It may make you feel a little trivial, but in fact, it makes you feel a lot easier than before. Yes, you may be the most important person in the world in your mind. But don’t think others are the same.
Do you think so? Because in their world, the most important people are likely to be themselves or their children.
2. Treat appreciation and criticism calmly
I think it’s good to do everything you can to get appreciation, and I support it. It’s good to get appreciation, but I’m rarely overexcited and happy to jump up and down. The advantage of such an idea is that when you get the opposite negative criticism, you can calmly accept it without have too much negativity hindered your progress. If you learn anything from these criticisms, it will also make you grateful for the criticism. Doing things in this way can help you care less about other people’s opinions.
3. Care more about what you think of yourself
If you care too much about what others think of you, that warm desire will make you feel more of the barrenness of your heart, and you will begin to look at yourself on the basis of what others think of you. So, use the more beneficial things that make you feel more powerful instead of the desperate desires. Your inner peace of mind can keep your life from becoming a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions controlled by the opinions of others.
Take care of what you think of yourself and build your self-esteem and self-awareness. There are two ways to do this:
1. Daily Self-Appreciation Journal – It’s easy to lose yourself based solely on what you’ve gained or what you’ve done this week, or on what others think of you and what they tell you about yourself. And building self-respect based solely on these can make it extremely unstable.
Self-appreciation diaries are a way to help you solve this problem by looking at the good and bad aspects of yourself. Every night of the week you can take out a pen and notebook or record it with a notebook on your computer or cell phone. You can write down 5 things at a time where you appreciate yourself, but remember not to just write about what you’ve achieved.
Also write down the good aspects associated with the center of self-respect. I’m talking about things that always exist no matter how well you perform at work. They may be your nature, like a sense of humor, kindness, honesty, intelligence, creativity, and so on.
2. Treat others and yourself in a friendly and considerate manner – When you unconsciously want to evaluate others, there is an easy way to be more considerate and friendly, and that is to ask yourself questions that help. I found one particularly useful: What qualities do I have with this person? How much does he/she look like me in this respect? This approach shifts my attention from the comparison of differences between me and others to the similarity between us.
It bridges the gap between us, and I can feel that I am closer to this person and understand others better. You can try this method when you unconsciously want to judge someone, without having to worry about whether that person is close to you or if he or she is just a stranger. In this way, you will find that when you evaluate yourself, you will naturally think of and use this more considerate and friendly approach for yourself. And in this way, you will feel better about yourself and help build self-respect.
4. Not everything that people say about you is true
If we are extremely negative about what others do, the personal attacks he or she often takes, the hurt they say, especially when they happen to you, remember that this is not the real you.
These words, or these negative methods, are used to release the anger, despair, or jealousy that has accumulated in their lives. Or people use these words to emphasize their idea is right. It’s also possible that they are used to trying to influence other people’s emotions by insulting them, plunging them into a vicious circle and attracting their attention through those arguments.
It’s just what they think, not what you do or want to do. Always remember that this method can help us calm down. And keep in mind that other people are human beings, too, and they have unhappy days, marriages, or jobs.
5. Listen more to those who support you and are calm
I don’t advocate not caring about what others say. Listening more to what they say will help you stay stable so that your life and relationships with others won’t get out of control or even collapse.
But choose carefully who you want to listen to. Listening to a person who often complains about everything or a person who always sees only the pessimistic negative aspects of things may not make much difference to you.
Why do people with depressive disorder always say that others don’t understand them
The reason why patients with depressive disorders feel that others do not understand themselves is that I think it is the disease itself caused by the impact on patients. It may be due to life or work stress and depression. In most cases this depression is possible to self-regulating, but depressive disorder patients are often caused by increasing depression and lead to delayed symptoms, seriously affecting social function.
When I talk to my friend who has depressive disorders, I can understand some of the inner experience of people with depressive disorders. But as ordinary people, sometimes it is difficult to experience the feelings of patients with depressive disorders.
When we meet a person with a depressive disorder, most people will stand by themselves to give comfort and exhortation. We tell them to open up a little, don’t let their lives be so tired, and try to find something happy to distract themselves and so on. People care, in fact, there is no purpose of treatment, because patients with depressive disorders have already known these truths.
Let’s take a look at the true feelings of a depressive disorder patient. Once chatted with a depressive disorder patient, he said that that time the mood is particularly bad, but he cannot say what reason. It may not be a thing or two. It is a lot of things accumulated together to lead to such a situation; The mood is particularly low. There is no happy time from day to night. The brain is not running at all like a blank.
They feel that they can not do anything. Nothing is successful. Life is meaningless. Everyone is better than them. They always have idea of wanting to die.
This should be the feelings of many people with depressive disorders. In fact, most of the time they don’t want to say anything about depression. Often after their stress relieved, they will be willing to talk to the doctor.
What happens when you are too stressed
The effects of stress are often not directly and clearly perceived:
Which are the most sensitive signals?
What are the weaknesses of an individual’s resistance to stress?
- Pain: headache, back pain, chest pain
- The skin is particularly sensitive to stress, dry skin, spots and tingling are typical signs of reaction
- Digestive problems such as stomach pain, indigestion or ulcer diffusion, diarrhea, and even stomach bleeding are warning signs that you are not properly handling stress
- Panic and palpitations are also often associated with stress, and muscle tension, especially in the head, neck, shoulders and back, will be an early warning sign.
- Irritability or moodlessness usually indicates that you are under stress
- Loss of confidence and conceit suggests that you can’t keep control of your needs beyond your processing power
- If you feel exhausted and unmotivated, this may be due to excessive demands; and feelings of alienation can be the result of inability to cope.
- Lack of attention is often due to too many things going around the brain
- Indecision, even for the least important things
- Stress can affect memory, impair judgment, lead to bad decisions, and some mistakes
- Persistent negativity towards yourself and the surrounding environment, which may not be handled well. The demands of those around you are the result.
- Sleep is disturbed, drinking and smoking more often than usual, which is an attempt to find short-term mental relaxation
- Decreased libido is a common sign of stress
- Withdrawal from friends and family or friendships with colleagues usually means you feel unable to cope with the relationship
- If you are always irritable and find it difficult to relax, you’re probably under pressure.
What to do when you are stressed
We understand the characteristics of stress. We also know that stress will bring serious impact to you.
So What to do when you are stressed?
Do regular psychological assessment – Mental health assessment is the visual performance of the individual mental health status. If you feel that you are living in a poor state of life recently, especially the outstanding physical symptoms, resulting in you cannot live live a normal life, then you can go to a professional psychiatric hospital to do a psychological state assessment. Not only you can intuitively understand your emotional reactions and state, but also you can get more professional psychological guidance.
Improve the working environment – timely adjustment of work status is also a good choice.
Gathering, travelling or other activities to relieve stress – relaxation can also avoid the emotional problems caused by too much stress
All in all, I hope that everyone can use scientific methods to cope with their own stress. If you feel that you have emotional problems due to the inability to adapt to the pressure, or even show signs of depression, then it is the right choice to seek medical treatment as soon as possible, and to relieve symptoms through symptomatic treatment and recover soon.
How to be a likable person
People usually find someone they trust to talk about their grievances as a way to relieve the stress in their lives. Especially in marriage, it is clear that two people are in the closest relationship, but sometimes there is no communication. In the long run, each other think the other is the wrong party, and ultimately two people can only use quarrels to solve problems. So why does the other person find it hard for you to understand?
I have a friend. When she married her husband, she has to do all the housework. She has to prepare meals, clean the rooms, and pick up the children from school.
Such a busy, her husband originally felt that is happy. This home has the appearance of the home. One day her husband finished work, my friend wanted him to either clean up the table or play with the children. But he was just playing with his phone and said that he was tired all day and wanted to take a rest, please don’t quarrel there. Then my friend pulled down the waistline skirt and responded that she didn’t want to do the clean up anymore!
In the above case, my friend is a full-time housewife, and her life is full of trivial chores that don’t seem very heavy, but do take a lot of time. At this point she just wants her husband to give her a little help so she can take a short break. But in her husband’s eyes, she is not doing any hard work. Why is she so tired? Let’s take a look at how to be a likable person.
1. Standing in each other’s perspective to think
Couples like my friend is actually quite common. Both feel that they have paid a lot. Why can’t I take a break? Life is trivial, need both husband and wife to help each other at the same time, rather than accusing each other of not doing enough.
Psychologists point out that in interpersonal communication, we should learn to think differently. That is, if you can think from the other person’s point of view and understand what kind of environment the other person is in, so that you can understand the meaning when the other person said something. This can also deepen the communication between two people, so as to achieve the goal of solving the problem.
Like my friend’s case. If she thinks about her husband’s workload, she will know how tired he will be. On the other hand, if her husband thinks about what housework my friend is doing every day, he will also know how tired my friend will be. Couples are in need of mutual understanding. If you can be located for the care of others, the days will be happier.
Know how to think for others, stand in the perspective of others to understand each other’s ideas and needs. This is the ability to think differently. Everyone’s growing environment and life experiences are different. Many times, in the face of the same problem, you find a solution, but others may think differently from you. If you could think about it, what would you do if you were him? I believe in the problems are not problems.
2. Seeking common interests
When doing a thing, different people will have different practices. This is the uniqueness of people. When two people have different opinions and cannot reach a consensus, it is better to look at the issue from the other side’s point of view and find common interests.
In fact, whether it is between husband and wife, colleagues, or other people, there will always be a variety of problems. Especially when it involves interests, two people will always think differently. If you can think about each other, you won’t hate each other, and he’ll thank you for your understanding.
If there is a person who knows you, it is a great happiness
Happiness is a person who understands you;
Warmth is to have someone who is willing to accompany you.
People are always vulnerable and don’t need much romance and language.
If you can have a person who understands you, it is a great happiness!
Find someone who knows you.
Those who understand you are hard to find. There are many people who can understand you, and very few people who are willing to understand you.
In this life, there may be many friends, but there are only one or two confidants, and there are very few people who know you.
There are many times when I feel overwhelmed and I want to find someone to talk to, I look over the mobile phone, but I find that no one can call.
This loneliness makes people even more uncomfortable.
Some words are held in my heart, I want to find someone to talk to; some things,
I want someone to share it.
Those things that cannot be said are comforting if someone understands them.
Those invisible suffering, if someone feels distressed, is happiness.
But someone who understands you is hard to find in your life. If you encounter one, please cherish it!