Why Stay Calm is important
One of the most useful skills in life is to be able to stay calm. To ensure emotional calm in a negative situation and not overreact to all sorts of things. In order to stay calm, you need to do reduce stress and a meaningless dispute with others. Don’t waste time, energy and ideas on things that don’t work.
Find something that interests you. Reach out to those who have a more relaxed and positive attitude towards life. Bring them into your life and learn from them as an example. People like to go out with friends who are more like themselves, because it’s more comfortable, more fun and more fulfilling. There is 24 hours a day so we have to make a decision who and what can benefit you.
Why Can’t You Keep Calm
Most people encounter these things generally have the following characteristics:
1. Jumping to conclusions
You may have heard bad rumors or seen bad phenomena. For example, you heard your girlfriend is walking with a man in the street. I think a lot of people will go up to provoke the man, or even a beating. But in the end you found out that the guy was her brother. You jump to conclusions by not figuring out the situation and do the wrong thing that you will regret.
2. Too rush to make a decision
For example, your girlfriend said she wanted to break up with you. You might be too angry at that point of time to make a decision to break up. Or in the company, you feel stress or angry suddenly and quit the job. The end result is often you suffer because of the rush decision.
When people face a lot of things at the same time, the reactionary state becomes intense. When you encounter something that causes you to get emotional, you will want to argue or fight. What kind of results do these processes have for you? In fact, there is no real meaning, the end result will only make the situation worse.
5. Retreat and escape
For example, when people make a mistake, they always want to escape and find excuses. They are not going to think about their problem and how to correct the mistake and avoid the next mistake.
Those who are optimistic and positive in life tend to be flexible in dealing with these problems and able to think calmly. But can optimism solve the problem?
In fact, these people are optimistic nature can bring them not to abuse emotions!
Part of the reason for these problems is that you often abuse your emotions, and you may even magnify them to the point that you feel wronged and mistreated.
Stress will affect your brain
According to research in rats and cellular models conducted by scientists from the University of California at Berkeley, the excess of myelin that develops as a result alters how neutrons connect with each other, consequently perturbing the balance of communication and timing within the brain’s circuitry.
“Ultimately, these changes can affect cognitive function, including changes in learning, memory, and emotional well-being,” says Sundari Chetty, PhD, a faculty member in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine and co-author of the 2014 paper presenting these findings in Molecular Psychiatry.
Myriad physical and emotional disorders have been linked to the incidence of stress.
Calm down when these things happen
If your anger brings you the following behavior, you’d better find a way to calm yourself down.
1. You’ve Been Known To Hold A Grudge
anger is a healthy emotion and we all feel it. But it should really only flare up for a moment before simmering back down again.
2. You’ve Been Pushing Friends Away
If you’ve been extra angry lately, your friends may be less inclined to call. But it’s also normal for people with anger issues to push their friends away.
3. You Have A Tendency To Yell
If you truly can’t control your anger, it may be a sign of a problem.
4. Your Heart Races And You Get Sweaty
If you get this way on the regular, it may be time to look for ways to calm down.
5. You Can’t Help But Be Defensive
If people constantly say you’re being defensive, take note.
6. Your Memory’s Been A Bit Fuzzy
Anger affects the very nature of your brain, so be on the look out for any signs of cognitive issues.
Anger is a healthy emotion that everyone has. It’s important to to let other people know when you’re upset.
How to calm down during angry
Passive calm, refers to we cannot resist when our rights and interests are violated or we want to make a revolt but lack of effective methods and means. At this time, calm, is a measure of the last resort, but also is a way to reduce the degree of harm. Acquisition of helplessness is the ultimate passive calm when we cannot resist the invasion of the outside world, the brain makes a continuous error judgment.
No matter what kind of resistance still cannot improve this situation, and make even more serious damage. So at this time the passive calm has been a decadent and helpless to give up. You are still angry but indifferent to the invasion.
Active calmness is the initiative of self-control when we are hurt, and it is also divided into two kinds.
The first is limited by certain legal or moral constraints, as well as the expectation of adverse consequences, so that we stop fighting for a while and seek a more sensible solution.
The second is that we stay calm and strive for more time in order to gain more resources and favorable conditions. Thus, making a good foundation for resistance.
So passive calmness is negative, active calmness is positive. The consequences are not the same. Knowing this is very useful for us to remain calm when we are angry.
How to calm down during Anxiety
Lokers often tells her patients to skip the relaxation techniques and instead stop and observe the situation.
“Treat it like you would a science experiment,” she said. Look around you and ask yourself questions like: How anxious am I feeling? How fast is my heart racing right now? Rank your answers on a scale of 1-10, and check back in with yourself every minute to see if the numbers have changed.
Once you’ve gotten a hold on this anxiety, you can then use more traditional cognitive restructuring strategies to help cope with the situation.
If you’ve ever dealt with any kind of anxiety, you know how annoying it can feel. Use this strategy to help you calm down.
How to calm children down during tantrum
How to set up the “calm down zone”?
1. Find a safe and less distraction area such as the face of walls or corners where the parents can observe.
2. If there is a limit of the space, the parents can make some compromises, such as a seat cover, to cover the back of a chair. Let the child sit on the “calm chair” to perform calm and introspection.
3. If it is an outdoor implementation, the parents can simply let children face the wall to calm down. The parents can be waiting next to the children.
“Calm down zone” strategy is a kind of gentle, short and effective way to deal with children’s improper behavior, avoid parents’ slapstick children. However, many parents have neglected that the focus of the Cooling-off zone is to provide a sobering opportunity for the child and not to punish the child.
When the parents put the children in the “calm down zone” for “calm” and “introspection”, they must maintain a stable mood to give instructions, and explain to the child clearly.
Here are what expert says
“Praise their good behaviour.
“These steps can be used from toddlers to teenagers.
“You need to be flexible, so for example you don’t want to be talking to your 14-year-old as though they are a four-year-old.
“But you do need to give them the courage to learn from their mistakes.”
Well according to parenting expert Sue Atkins it is all about using the four C’s.