I would like to introduce several methods to love yourself to those who have just begun to learn how. I call this set of methods “10 progressive steps”, which I’ve always wanted to introduce to multitudes of people.
Self-love is like an amazing adventure, almost as adventurous and exciting as piloting an airplane. Try to imagine, how exciting would it be if each and every one of us had the strength to make our dreams come true! There are so many things to be grateful for. Start now, start practicing mindfulness! Start loving yourself now!
Many people feel pain because they, to some extent, lack self-esteem, and as a result, they find it so difficult and so impossible to truly love themselves because of their own imperfections. We tend to love ourselves conditionally, so do we love others (with conditions). I often hear a saying “one cannot truly love others without truly loving oneself”. What do we do when we see these barriers hindering our progress?
10 ways to learn to love yourself
1. Stop blaming yourself
This matters most crucially. We can change our lives as soon as we get started with keeping telling ourselves that we are good enough. We can change nothing about our lives whenever we make ourselves feel inadequate. We all need to make changes to ourselves, as every day is a brand new day. Treat yourself like an important person who deserves love and respect.
People who were raised in families with problems usually tend to have such sense of responsibility and come up with a bunch of harsh judgement on themselves, they grow in surroundings of stress and strain and anxiety. Their childhood seared a impression of inadequate into their minds such as “I’m not a normal guy/I’m not a normal girl”.
Please take some time to recall what “sins” you and / or others accuse yourself, such as “dumb kid”, “rebellious kid”, “good-for-nothing”, “sloppy”, ” stupid”, “obnoxious”, “useless”, “untidy/rough-looking”, etc. Have you also labelled yourselves with these words? We must strive to create feelings of worth for ourselves, otherwise we will put ourselves in miserable positions, causing illnesses and agony to our own physical bodies, by rejecting healthy food and refusing to stop using alcohol, (junk) food and even drugs to dull the agony.
We could experience insecurities at any given time because we are all commoners. So don’t pretend to be someone perfect, doing so merely brings you more pressure, and it blinds us from seeing the way of self-healing. On the contrary, we will begin to self-appreciate, that says, to appreciate who we are, once we see our own uniqueness as well as creativity. Each and everyone here in this world plays a unique role, we sell ourselves short when we engage in self-blaming.
2. Stop feeling fearful
Many tend to indulge themselves in overthinking and in turn, scaring themselves as if something trivial would turn into something as catastrophic as the end of the world. They hope for the worst thing to happen, what a terrible lifestyle!
Before going to bed, how many of you are worrying about the worst of the worst pending to happen , like you used to fear the boogeyman hiding under your bed during your children, no wonder you’d have trouble falling sleep! You needed parents’ comforting you while you were still young, but not anymore, you have grown into an adult who’s far more than capable of comforting yourself.
Patients also tend to do the same, engaging in self-destructive behaviors such as hoping or preparing for the worst (their funerals etc), they forfeit their strengths whereas they may still be able to move forward with their lives, succumbing to medical data.
Some people also think alike when it comes to friendships, they tend to take it that their friends have abandoned them just because the friends didn’t ring them back on the phone.
These negative thoughts actually belong to a group of autosuggestion, which you might also create for yourself at your workplace when you encounter someone giving you certain advice. You’d possibly interpret such advice as an insinuation that you may get sacked.
Try picturing beautiful things or positive outcomes such as waterfalls, sports, gorgeous views of different places/cities, sunsets, or anything you enjoy doing. Get out of your comfort zone. Whenever you begin frighten yourself with anxieties and fear, try to picture these fancy visualizations, and repeat the following words to yourself “No, I won’t fuss about these things. I shall set my mind on evening sunsets, roses in full blossom, Paris & yachts.” Et cetera. You will eventually get rid of these habituated behaviors so long as you keep it up. This requires numerous times of practice, of course. Mindfulness is the key.
3. Take care of yourself with patience
Endurance plays a vital role in one’s endeavor attaining success or actualizing a dream. We get frustrated when our dreams don’t come true immediately. We always thirst for instant gratification. We also get so agitated while lining up for the traffic light to turn green. We eagerly and diligently seek the answers we want. “Cut to the chase.” We more often than not want more and more, we want everything. Our impatience with our lives, often results in other’s misfortune, even suffering. We cannot learn without having patience and endurance, and that’s what we usually tend to do – getting answers without patiently waiting for them to be revealed to us.
Consider. As if your mind was a barren land in a garden, teeming with thistles and thorns of self-resentment, plus the weight of desperation, fury and anxiety, also a tree called fear that needs to get rid of. Imagine how fertile the land will turn once you get rid of all these filth! Once you make it happen, your mind will bear many promising and joyful fruits, with some fertilizer.
This land, aka, your mind will bask in bright sunlight and be renewed, more than just as good as new! How great is that!
You won’t likely notice any signs of remarkable changes at the very beginning, but don’t stop the renewal process. Continue to nourish your mind with patience and the spirit of endurance as if it’s a sprout that will soon grow into an epic tree that bears great fruits. Your mind, given enough hard time and nourishment and exposure to the light, with enough endurance, it will lead you to the life you so long desire!
We all make mistakes, student or not. It’s no big deal to make mistakes during the learning process. People who hold perfectionists’ mindset love accusing themselves of not being able to get something, or some task done without mistakes in 3 minutes, they have literally killed their chance of spiritual renewal and growth.
Learning anything, any skill, takes time. We don’t feel so well or adequate at the beginning of any learning journey. Therefore, you will need to take a bit of your on time to do a little practice in order to grasp what I just said. Close your two hands into a fist, no matter in what fashion, then observe if it’s your left thumb or your right thumb is above the other one.
Then release them and do it again, but in a different fashion: put your left thumb above the right thumb and close your hands to make them into a fist. You may feel awkward and wrong at the beginning. Yet, as you repeat and switch between these methods you will find yourself more and more used to such practice.
Likewise, whenever we don’t get used to trying new methods or approaches to get something done, we get awkward and draw conclusions way too early. Still your impatience, buddy, everything will become normal and natural. It doesn’t take one day to build Rome, just like we can’t learn within one day. After two to three months, I believe we will learn to properly love ourselves so long as we persist in practicing so doing,
Making mistakes is an inevitable part of the progress (of learning and growing). Mistakes have values in teaching you lessons and if you learn from them, they will turn defeats into great success. So don’t chastise yourself for making mistakes or failing.
As people adjust their directions towards which they strive, they continue to meet problems. As a result, we must find ways to consolidate and strengthen the skills we’ve learned, instead of raising them up in the vacuum, and doubt its usefulness, saying “what use does it have?” Be gentle and mild to ourselves whenever and wherever we learn a new approach or a new skill or anything new.
Please recall the parable I made previously about the garden: remove any weeds at your earliest convenience.
4. Be good for your own mind
Please do not resent yourselves because of having any thoughts of negativity. Thoughts and minds exist to shape us into better individuals rather than defeating or destroying us. It’s completely unnecessary to blame yourself for experiencing agony in the past and we can learn a lot from them by taking care of our mind and spirit. Let go of self-condemnations and self chastisement, and all wounds of your soul.
Relaxation can come very handy because it can help us feel our own strengths, whereas nervousness and fear can only obstruct thine power and strengths. Use some time every day to relax your mind and body and release the tension by closing your eyes and taking a deep breath whenever you can. Gently say this to yourself “I love you, everything will be fine” while you inhale, then you will feel the tranquillity as a result of the new mindset you’ve created for yourself, knowing you needn’t live with fear and anxiety.
I highly suggest that you calm down and listen to the inner wisdom of yourself whenever you mediate. Mediation is the most ancient and the simplest way to heal our own minds, despite its difficulty to succeed and mysterious image and conception most people hold in nowadays society. We can do our part by chewing on words such as tranquillity & calmness and I believe it will do us plenty of good. Om which refers to Atman (soul, self within), I quite often practice it. It appears to have worked for me. We may also repeat to ourselves, “I love myself and I have forgiven myself”, then listen to our inner responses and voices to our monologues.
Some people tend to regard mediation as a state of nothingness in one’s mind, yet in fact the truth isn’t so. We can merely slow down the rate at which our thoughts come and go, and these thoughts will usually float. Some would prefer to sit down on their arses and write down their negative thoughts in order to eliminate them. Whenever we reach a status like that, being fearful, worrying about disasters that may happen to us, stop worrying and try these methods of self-healing & wisdom.
You may start mediating whenever and wherever you want. Make it a habit. Make it a pendent and hang it on your neck as if it represents the embodiment of the Almighty Power. Try a mental exercise for mental health by connecting yourself to such power Almighty. You may do so either while you are taking a walk or jogging on the crescent near your residence. The most optimal methods of mediation can vary from person to person. You may even mediate while you dig up the dirt in your own garden, which is my favorite way of committing myself to mediation.
Visualization of positive outcomes may help you tremendously as well. And there are many you can use.
O. Carl Simonton, in his book, Getting Well Again, (in audio book, named Dr. Carl Simonton’s Getting Well: A Step-by Step, Self-Help Guide to Overcoming Cancer for Patients and their Families), he introduced plenty of techniques, such as the whole-person approach to treat cancer, self-fulfilling prophecy, which help patients visualise their recovery, and we can see these techniques do facilitate some positive outcomes, according to several trustworthy medical journals. Such as Examining Holistic Medicine . Such technique of autosuggestion helps construct vivid visualizations of one’s recovery.
Many wrote letters to me asking about how such technique works. Yet I told them to apply such technique accordingly to their own circumstances and characteristics, else it won’t work on them.
For instance, a lady suffering from cancer, she attempted to visualize normal cells combating cancerous cells in her body, and won. Then she began to become skeptical of her visualizing method as she didn’t see any positive results immediately. I then said to her, “Did you imagine yourself as a contract killer?” I consider waging war against our own bodies, inside our own bodies, quite an adverse way of thinking when it comes to treatment and healing. As a result, I advised her to make some moderate changes in her methods, instead, by visualizing a scene in which sunlight melts cancerous cells, or other scenario where a magician uses his magic to make the cancerous cells vanish, may serve her treatment much better.
Assuming I got cancer, I would visualize a scene where a cool flowing fountain washed away the cancerous cells. We all need to carry out some visualizations that don’t hurt our subconscious.
Always treating our friends and families as patients do them no good, even if they have been truly diagnosed with some illnesses. Please send them your prayers of healing and wish them all the best to help with their recovery. Whether they shall heal or not, still largely depends on their mindsets. Send them some audio tapes or music about mediation if you could and they would like so. Otherwise, send them your best regards and love instead.
Managing your properties is rather similarly to manage your life. So is everyone, who is capable of imaging all sorts of things, exciting intercourse, contemplating hurting those who badly hurt you etc. How marvelous. Our hearts (minds) can do all these things. So guard your heart above all else.
5. Praise yourself
Accusations can ruin souls, yet praises can shape your souls. Please take some time to get to know your own strengths and intelligence because we represent the intelligence of infinite level in this cosmos. You despise the Almighty Power that created you if you despise yourself. Start small and tell yourself how good and cool you are. Only one attempt will never yield any desirable outcome. Do it! Even if it takes just one minute to praise yourself as to make yourself feel better.
Trust me, as you will feel less burdened as you make progress by keeping trying these techniques, keep trying for your own sake! As far as I can recall. I felt waves of palpitations while I was giving a lecture about religious studies at a lecture hall in New York. I can remember clearly what happened there, it was on a Friday afternoon, I still managed the questions one by one, that was written by my audiences on sheets of paper and was put inside a basket. I received some medical treatment afterwards. “For your own sake, be good to yourself even for the first time and do so continuously for five times. You will certainly become an expert at doing this.” I didn’t despise myself for overlooking to mention a few other details during the lecture because I didn’t want to get nervous of my second lecture I was about to give.
If I despise myself for the first time while giving a lecture, then I would likely despise myself the next time and may much likely fret over giving speeches. After several hours, I began to think to myself, which aspect I should work on making adjustments or reconditioning. I didn’t make myself dwell on feelings of inadequacy or failures. I took the baby steps to praise and celebrate my own best performances. Afterwards, I learned to love myself even more, then I became highly adept at so doing during my 6th lecture. I thought to myself, we may apply such method to every aspect of our lives, as I always say so while I give speeches nowadays, which proved handy to foster independence-thinking skills. Thus let yourself embrace every beautiful thing or important person you come across in your life whether you deserve it or not.
Now let’s come back to the present reality here,
We already said this before: One who assumes he or she doesn’t deserve any love or self love, will make such person deny anything good that life would bring to such person in the future. “Not deserving” mentality (also known as Impostor Syndrome in terms of psychology) will most definitely hinder our efforts and pursuit of things (or goals) we desire to achieve.
- How can we speak to ourselves to produce positive monologues, when we don’t reckon we deserve to receive anything good?
- Do you consider yourself good enough, smart enough or even pretty enough? For what purpose do you exist ?
You must realize that you don’t come to this world to get a new car after every several years. You must practice mindfulness. How do you reckon you should enrich your own life? Are you willing to apply self-suggesting a technique to heal yourself and recover your mental capacity to tackle challenges? Are you willing to forgive? Will you commit to meditations? How much effort have you invested in yourself, in the techniques mentioned above, in order to change your life and then to actualize your idealism?
6. Self-help is self-love
Find friends who can help you get back on your feet. You must administer your life as a strong person, yet not so independent because you are certainly going to need to seek help from friends at some point in your life. Many often grow overconfident in themselves due to pride and strong ego. Trust me, you would seek help from others than devoting much hard work to hard tasks in vain.
Every city has its own support groups such as Staircase 10 (something like Salvation Army, supposed speaking). In some other places, there are churches, congregations & support groups. You can even make one of your own if you can’t find one that you found fitting to your needs. Such task isn’t as daunting as you imagine because it can be done with two or three friends that gather with you and share similar issues with you in common. Your small group will grow, as a tiny seed shall germinate into giant trees if attended with love and nourishment, and you shall make people so glued to your group like iron is innately so attracted magnets. Do not worry, you would run out of space to gather people as your group continues to grow. The whole universe will provide you with everything you need. Contact us if you need advice on how to build support groups. You must still your impatience and commit yourselves to helping each other.
There was a support group consisting of only six men who were diagnosed with HIV positives in Los Angeles in 1985. The group leader didn’t know how to handle such crisis at that time. He encouraged the members to commit to helping one another, sharing one another’s burdens. The group managed to grow into a larger community with 200 members as they had regular meet-ups on every Wednesday evening at West Hollywood Park.
This support group dedicated its ministry to helping HIV patients. Everyone got the attention and love they deserved. Visitors from all over the world came to observe how the support group served its purpose collectively as a whole, rather than observing how individuals help other individuals. Every group member work together with others, by using meditation techniques and sharing materials of the latest therapies.
The group member might lie down on a table at the back of the praying room whilst others could pray for the person who lied down, and share the power of healing by holding each other’s hands. They could also exchange thoughts and ideas with their mentors. They would also get to sing praising songs and give each other hugs after the meetup ended. The main goal was to make people who joined the meetup feel better before they came, such therapeutic effect could last at least several days
These social groups have emerged recently which have become instrumental in solving the chaos nowadays. Many New Age churches &religous congregations in the present host social gatherings on a weekly basis whose information you will find in magazines and newspapers.
Communications are crucial, because it motivates you to keep trying. Therefore, I highly suggest that people who share the same or similar problems to gather together to help each other.
People gather together for the same goal, bringing their pain, chaos and even rage, yet not in order to whinge about their agony but instead, they seek to find ways to grow by transcending and surpassing their agony.
In case you happen to be an altruistic, spiritual and highly disciplined person, you can build success for yourself by depending on yourself; Nevertheless, joining a group may help you to facilitate your success even better and more efficiently because you may likely find everyone (including yourself) in the group worth learning from, by becoming a teacher to teach everybody else. As a result, as an epilogue for this article, I highly recommend that you join a group that’s most appropriate for your personal development and growth, whenever and wherever possible, in order to help you better overcome your problems when you encounter them.
7. Love yourself as you are, even your flaws
Your flaws belong to a part of you as much as we belong to God. The Higher Entity of supreme Intelligence will not hate us for our transgressions, or mistakes or get angry at us easily. God loves what he created as much as we love ourselves because He knows we have been striving to attain perfection. Nobody is perfect and thus everyone makes mistakes. So don’t self-chastise or habitualize self-chastisement, as it doesn’t help with catharsis, nor does it help with the release of our inner bitterness nor does it help you find solutions to your problems. Your attitude towards everything around you, will largely determine the outcomes that happen to you in the future, “I hate my job, I hate my household, I hate my illness, I hate my current friendships, I hate this and that etc.” If you keep saying these to yourself you might have done a wonderful job at preventing wonderful things coming to you in the future.
Nothing happens without a reason no matter how miserable your situation is. Else you won’t find any explanation. John Harrison, the author of the book Love Your Disease, says, “patients, don’t blame yourself for getting a surgery or falling ill. Instead, they should celebrate the fact that they’ve found safe therapies and thus in good hands.” No matter what kind of problem arises, we can all at least try to deal with them.
We can therefore pinpoint the ideal solution to our problems (including but are not limited to illnesses) when we realize such point.
Sometimes, patients with cancers, as well as other patients who are diagnosed with some sort of malignant diseases find it difficult to say no to people speaking to them with authority. They inadvertently “create” other illnesses to say “no”.
A lady whom I know of, when she experienced lots of hardships when she realized that she had to say no to her father so she could heal her illness and live for herself. She strove for healing and she made it, and became increasingly well.
However upset and negative we used to be, we can make our dreams come true by striving for positivity (through autosuggestion & spiritual methods such as praying and perseverance). Most importantly, we must ask ourselves what we can learn / salvage from our failures and suffering. These questions have burdened us so heavily that we don’t usually like to answer them. If we were to seek answers we must stay true and honest to ourselves throughout our pursuit of these answers by diving deep into our own hearts and minds.
Perhaps the answer you find tells you not to expect other people’s love and care to last long. Therefore, try other approaches that may lead you to your success as you have already realized this. While you learn to release from your own sufferings (both mental and physical), humor can play a vital role in ensuring your success by making your time of tension easier to pass. Gather yourselves some comedies such as Lorraine Bracco’s. Invite humorous ladies in your life and rejoice in your own laughter, so as to set your mind at ease. Humor is so therapeutic. I would like to introduce some classic comedies to you as well, such as My Fair Lady, Girls! Girls! Girls! etc. I always do my best to enable my patients maintain a positive outlook on their illnesses and problems, while I sit with my patients face to face. Truly in fact, our lives quite much resemble soap operas and comedies, we are already on our ways towards healing and recovery. Humor can enable us to assess our lives in a much broader perspective.
8. Take good care of your body
Your earthly body is your temporary tent in which your soul and spirit dwell. Isn’t she a beautiful and amazing home, we must love and care about?
May I kindly ask you to pause what you are doing and take a good look at yourself to see what your body has been attracted to? Most commonly speaking, they’d be alcohol or drugs, or both, because people most commonly abuse them to distract themselves from their problems. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person if you happen to be a drug addict, but instead, it simply means you haven’t found positive and productive methods to to satisfy your own needs.
Illicit drugs deceive us into submitting to them by saying “Come to me, enjoy me and be merry.” Indeed, they will make you feel better and yet it cover the truth. You will suffer great losses in the end, even if you didn’t quite realize it at the beginning.
Your health will deteriorate rapidly over time as you abuse drugs, with bad moods and feelings of miseries. Your body will develop many terrible diseases due to a compromised immune system by the drugs. Of course you will become addicted to them as you continually abuse them. With creeping doubts, you begin to question yourselves, “What made you to try them in the first place?” Maybe because you needed to relieve your stress, but why did you get addicted?
I have never seen those who love themselves fall victims to substance abuse. We used drugs and alcohol to distract ourselves from the torment we experienced during our childhood. Afterwards we may even feel worse than before, with more guilt, despite the fact they won’t linger with us long just like any other feelings or emotions.
Gluttony is also an indication of one’s refusal to self-love. We cannot survive without food because of the energy it provides to us, and because food makes our bodies to regenerate new cells to replace dead cells. We tend to overeat to punish ourselves even if we have fundamental knowledge about human nutrition.
Fat makes our country deeply addicted to junk food. Over the decades, we have always consumed all sorts of possessing foods. We indulge in habitual behaviors induced by possessed food corporations and have our diet altered. Nowadays medical schools/universities have no specialized courses about healthy diet and nutrition. At the moment, doctors more often than not, mainly use medications and pills and surgeries to treat illnesses. We must start learning knowledge about health, diet and nutrition if we desire to know anything about such filed of study. Paying attention to what we eat, getting ourselves familiarized with how diet can affect our bodies, et cetera, will all reveal how much we love ourselves.
You should ask yourself when food coma descends upon you one hour after lunch, “what did I eat?” Perhaps you ate something detrimental to your health. Behold and observe what kind of food gives you a boost in energy, what kind of food makes you feel drained of energy. You may either carry out various experiments to come to your conclusions as to which kind of food benefit you most and what not; or you may also consult with dietitians or nutritionists who can help you seek the correct answers that work for you.
Do you remember a saying that one thing may work for one person and may not work for the other. To many people, a menu that can prolong your life span to its fullest may be the best diet. Perhaps you may want to learn more about William Harvey’s & Benjamin Franklin’s natural laws of healthy living. They both work although they are two distinct methods. Every one’s body can differ vastly from one another, thus we must seek methods and principles that apply to us individually instead of drawing premature conclusions as to which one works which one doesn’t.
Please find a way to do physical exercises you prefer and think positively about your exercises. More often than not others’ decisions and mindsets affect us too much and they create many barriers to hinder our effort. Please do try to apply the techniques of autosuggestion to yourself in a positive and productive manner while exercising, in order to help you get rid of negative perceptions and conceptions of your body and your body shape.
We are living in an era where medical science and health science evolve rapidly, in the meantime, we are also learning to apply both ancient medicine as well as contemporary medical technologies. For instance, Ayurveda combined with sound therapy. I have been researching how to use sound therapy to trigger certain brain waves in order to enhance learning and therapy processes. One research reveals that we might be able to alter DNA structures to cure certain diseases. I imagine, from late 20th century onwards, we shall definitely continue to make more scientific discoveries that shall benefit greatly humanity.
9. Examine yourself in front of a mirror
I always place an emphasis on the importance of mirrors because we can use a mirror to reflect the reasons why we don’t tend to love ourselves as much as we think we do. We can use a mirror to do lots of practices. I always say to myself in the mirror every morning “I love you, what can I do for you today to make you feel joyful?” Listen to yourself and follow your inner voices (unless they are inciting you to commit self-harm or suicide). Well, you might not hear anything at all from yourself because you have got so accustomed to blaming yourself, instead of proactively responding to proactive thoughts.
No matter what demoralizing events happened today, please walk to a mirror and say it yourself, “no matter what happens I love you nevertheless.” Only your self-love will remain(relatively) unchanged no matter how rapidly and drastically things change in this world, which is the most important thing in your life. On the other hand, in case you came across something good or positive today, remember to say “thanks” to yourself in front of a mirror, to let yourself know that you’ve managed to create some pleasurable experiences for yourself.
You may also learn a thing or two about forgiveness in front of a mirror, such as forgiving yourself and others. You may want to have conversations with people when you feel scared of having conversations with them face to face, and you may say whatever you dare not to say in front of a mirror. By so doing you will eliminate all awkwardness and grudges that developed between you and your parents, superiors, doctors, children as well as your spouse. Do remember to let them know that you love them by taking real actions to demonstrate your love of them, with sacrifice and unconditional affections. For that’s what you truly need (to demonstrate/express love and care)
People who don’t know how to forgive can’t love themselves because refusing to forgive build barriers (of communications and thus opportunities for reconciliation). We lay down our burdens and open up doors to facilitate self-love. Moreover, laying down our burdens definitely reduces our stress and strain to enable us to blow off some steam by saying “Oh, at long last I’m free.” We will certainly release ourselves from the burdens because we can never carry them forever.
Doctor John Harrison once said, forgiving yourself and your parents by letting your harsh experiences go, will heal you better than any other antibiotics.
Little children rarely resent their parents, yet it will become harder for them to learn how to forgive, once such thing happens. We shackle ourselves with the confines of our past, and rendering us unable to continue our normal lives because we have gotten ourselves too obsessed over our past. How can we build our bright and fruitful futures, without spending and enjoying our present time meaningfully? Dwelling in past painful experiences will create nothing but more and more pain.
Applying techniques of autosuggestion in front of mirrors will help us greatly by making us see truths (and facts) more clearly. You must identify the root cause of problems in order to change yourself by tackling them. Once you hear something less than encouraging, such as “Liars, you deceive yourself, and you don’t deserve anything good”, it can indicate you have just now received a valuable gift. Your negative thoughts and mindset(s) shackle you and they therefore hinder you from walking towards your road of freedom. How about trying to turn these negative suggestions into positive ones? For instance, say these things to yourself, as a form of autosuggestion ” I deserve to get what’s desirable and what’s beautiful, I want to let beautiful, colourful and positive experiences become parts of my life.” Continue to apply techniques of autosuggestion to yourself in such a matter like the one we mentioned, until they have truly become indispensable and inseparable part of your life.
I’ve seen a person transform his and his family’s lives by using techniques of autosuggestion. Within the organization allegedly named “Herald”, many of them came from broken families whose parents didn’t give enough education about their children not to mention talking with their children. I encouraged them to apply autosuggestion techniques by saying this to themselves,” I have maintained highly adequate communications and productive interactions with everyone in my family, including but are not limited to my mother. Our family is abundant in love and warmth!” I advised them to apply these techniques in front of a mirror whenever their families came to their minds. Such an amazing technique! They managed to bring their parents to the gathering events after 3, 6 or 9 months of continuous practices.
10. Start loving yourself from now on
Please stop procrastinating. Not feeling content with yourself, or not feeling complacent about your life indicates a hospitalized behavioral pattern. You will feel content about and happy with yourself once you begin to love yourself, naturally, after you have managed to learn how to do so, and in turn you shall be able to love and accept yourself as you do with others. This is true happiness!
Never attempt to change others, but instead, try to change ourselves. We can easily change ourselves using half of the effort we attempted to change others. And once it happens, others will respond to us rather differently.
You cannot replace others due to your unique experiences in aspects of your own life since you have to experience something unique as everyone does. Only when you start to learn to love yourself even more, can you get rid of those who are unreasonably negative & unwilling to change themselves.
During a speech I was giving, a lady told me that her husband was exceedingly negative and she didn’t want her young children to fall victim to such negativity. I advised her to auto-suggest to herself that she had a good and tenderhearted husband who always showcase his best to people. I asked her what she expected of her husband and advised her to imagine her husband had changed into someone far better as she expected. Otherwise, no matter how hard she tried and still yield no fruits and her husband still remained the way he was, she should have gotten the answer, which means she should consider separation from such man because they had an unsuccessful relationship.
I often reckon that women should ask themselves whether they could afford to raise children for themselves independently, due to the ever-increasing rate of divorce in America & a fact that single-parent families never cease to mushroom, despite it used to have a period during which most marriages remained stable. Nowadays, everything about marriage has changed, which is intriguing as much as it’s alarming.
Before I realized this, in the past for so long I failed to establish adequate interpersonal relationships, letting ourselves down, for I thought to myself that I deserved no kind treatment neither from myself nor others so I should tolerate bad treatment and behavior and nobody was going to be fond or needy of me.
I know I tend to make everything, every task sound easier than actually executing them, and I also tend to repeat what I’ve said. However, I do firmly believe in the techniques of auto-suggestions and its power to solve our problems, and I also consider it the optimal approach to tackle those problems– love yourself, love everything about yourself. It’s so amazing that it can make us radiate electromagnetic waves that may sometimes lead lovely people to us, and vice versa.