We want to develop our own personality. Different family, living environment and other factors impact everyone’s personality, temper, and so on. We always want to improve ourselves and eliminate weaknesses. We constantly take the initiative to improve our own, in order to better adapt to everything around.
The process of human growth is the process of constantly understanding oneself, improving oneself and perfecting oneself. A person’s personality is essentially the result of the parental genetic inheritance before the age of 10, but it is becoming more and more the result of individual efforts to work together with environmental factors. Developing own personality is to promote the character characteristics of individuals to avoid shortcomings and make up for good and evil.
People generally think that nature is difficult to change, think that people’s character is innate and it is difficult to change. In fact, people’s character can be developed, whether it is our life practice, or theoretical research, have proved this.
Everyone has their unique personality
Personality perfection refers to the process of a person constantly recognizing oneself, improving oneself and perfecting the realization. Psychologically, personality refers to a person’s unique and relatively stable behavior patterns. A leading British psychologist, Eysenck mentioned that personality is the personal character, temperament, ability and physiological characteristics that determine the individual’s adaptation to the environment.
The term “personality” in our daily life, such as saying that a certain person’s personality is noble, that someone’s personality is inferior or that someone lacks personality, is from the point of view of ethics and morality, and that the meaning of “personality” is not the same as that of psychology. In the words of psychologists, everyone has a unique personality, so no one has no “personality”.
Rogers, a famous American psychologist, suggests that everyone has two selves: the real self and the ideal self. The former is the real feeling that the individual acquires in real life, while the latter is the ideal state of the individual’s “should be” or “must be”. And only when the real self and the ideal self are combined, then the real self realize can be achieved. Rogers argues that the growth of personality lies in the full realization of the harmony between the ideal self and the real self, and the conflict between the two can lead to people’s psychological disorder and incongruity. Rogers also argues that the essence of psychological counseling is to maximize the affirmation and encouragement of the inquirer, constantly strengthen the coordination of their self-state, to help the inquirer fully realize the completion of the self-perfection.
Thus, personality development requires individuals to have clear goals for their own growth, and to plan their best personality combination. For example, usually some people are too low-esteem, too sensitive, always want to become confident and easy-going. In this, his real self is inferiority, ideal self is self-confidence. Then, only by constantly fighting himself can allow him to achieve self-improvement of personality – to be a person who is not inferior, insensitive, calm and confident.
10 keys to develop own personality
1. Developing self-challenges
It’s about realizing the importance of self-improvement. Personality perfection refers to the result of a person’s constant understanding of self, self-improvement and perfection. Psychologically, personality refers to a person’s unique and relatively stable behavior patterns. The British famous psychologist, Eysenck pointed out that personality is a personality that determines an individual’s suitability, temperament, ability and characteristics. ”
So, in life, what others think of you and how others talk about you are exposed to the advantages and disadvantages of your personality. In this regard, you can only keep the heart to improve yourself. Unlike children who are young, their parents are urging them to correct their shortcomings and form some kind of normative behavior. A personality development of an adult is to keep fighting yourself.
2. Cultivate self-belief
It’s about building a belief. In psychology, personality refers to the sum of the cognitive, emotional, motivation and behavior patterns of an individual’s innate genetics and acquired culture. In the first 10 years of life, congenital genetics play a leading role in the personality of individuals. But with the growth of age, the personality factors cultivated the day after birth play a leading role. Therefore, the personality actually is a way of behavior in which an individual adapts to the environment. Therefore, people can change their personality through conscious cultivation and efforts.
3. Cultivate self-criticism
It means to evaluate yourself objectively. Sometimes people are easy to be proud and ignore the opinions and suggestions that others give them. In fact, others may be more objective and specific. We should avoid self-enclosed, trust others, and accept the shortcomings pointed out by others modestly. In fact, no matter what the identity of the other person, for us, it’s a mirror that reflects from me. At the same time, we should consciously expand our social circle to get more feedback on ourselves. In this way, we can be more comprehensive and more objective to improve ourselves.
4. Develop a personality by following role models
It is about discovering role models and promote your own growth through their identification. The power of role models is infinite. The growth of personality requires constant discovery of role models from the past to the present, and active emulation.
Adler, a famous Austrian psychologist, can be regarded as a model of “people”. Adler was Freud’s greatest disciple, and later broke up because of different academic opinions. He once put forward the famous inferiority complex concept. That is, people have low self-esteem in some respects, so people need to constantly overcome inferiority and growing. This is the basic needs of people. What’s interesting is that Adler’s own life experience is a testament to this. Adler was second among the family’s six brothers, with little hunchback and limited mobility. His brother was strong and bouncing, so Adler was always ashamed of himself. In order to surpass his brother, he kept working until one day he found himself a world-famous scholar, and his brother is just a small teacher in the country. In his early years, because Adler had poor study, his teacher had suggested that he should work as a shoemaker, but when he struggled to learn, his life was completely different.
5. Training goal setting
It is about establishing self-knowledge, deeply understanding your own strengths and weaknesses, and the courage to challenge themselves to improve their own. In psychology, there is a theory of “The Window of Johari”, which assumes four categories of self-awareness.
- Open/self-area or arena: You and everyone around you knows it.
- Blind self or blind spot: Others know you, but you don’t know it clearly.
- Hidden area or façade: What you know about yourself, but what others don’t know.
- Unknown category: You haven’t shown it yourself yet, and you don’t feel it around you.
The Window of Johari proposes a way to recognize the self, which is to increase the scope of openness.
Turn the blind category into an open one: listen to the opinions of those around you, and even ask them for their opinions. Even if they criticize, you should thank others for letting us know something about ourselves.
Turn the hidden category into an open category: pay attention to self-expression, not hesitate to express your thoughts and feelings. But self-expression should be cautious and cannot be without any cover-up.
Turn the unknown into an open category: it takes to put yourself in an unfamiliar environment and experience new things. So you can know yourself in a new life, and discover yourself.
6. Cultivate self-training
It’s about putting it into action. Even small changes or symbolic plans are a hundred times better than those that stay in your head. You have to believe that you can grow and change, and that action is the best way to change yourself and get close to your ideal personality. Especially when the idea of self-improvement is first generated, it is the most motivated moment and is time to act as soon as possible.
7. Training self-supervision
It is to supervise yourself. You have to be brave enough to take action. Don’t endure even worse.
In the course of action, pay attention to two points.
The first point is to overcome “inner criticism” before action. The so-called “inner criticism” means “this is useless, why do I do it?” and “It’s not going to work”. These ideas demean one’s ability. The first thing to realize about these ideas is that it’s a barrier to your personality. You have to find out the answers for its appearance. For examples, ask what other people think? Would it make me better to maintain this status quo? And so on.
The second point is to be good at accepting failure when taking action. Generally speaking, no one likes to fail, but failure is often unavoidable. In the face of failure, be good at turning complaints into goals. Once you start to implement a self-improvement plan, we must stick to it and never give it up halfway. Don’t flinch even when you encounter difficulties because the final result will be great pride and pride!
8. Cultivate perseverance
During personality development process, constantly adjust your progress, and strive to achieve new goals.
You can write down your progress on a piece of paper. You look at what you write every day. This practice for you is a constant self-reminder and self-development of continuous supervision. It will produce a subtle transformational effect in the long term. Psychology refers to this process as the “internalization process”.
9. Cultivating self-openness
You have to be open-minded. We live in an ever-changing time, where all information and things are constantly being updated, which means we have to constantly re-examine our personalities to see if there is anything out of step with this era. Once discovered, it is necessary to take action to improve your self-personality.
10. Cultivate self-esteem and self-love
You have to learn to accept yourself. While the pursuit of perfection is good, excessive perfectionism is likely to cause it more stress and trouble than not doing self-improvement. You should not blindly pursue the “perfect personality”, but strive to have a “complete personality”. This requires us to objectively recognize ourselves, to embrace and accept ourselves – Change your “big” shortcomings, accept your own “small” shortcomings and turn them into your own characteristics. The classification of shortcomings requires a balance of subjective and objective opinions. Avoid the more deadly shortcomings left behind and avoid changing the cute little characteristics.
Finally, I want to emphasize and remind everyone that do not reluctantly change your own personality because of others. Self-improvement should be an active, positive and happy behavior and process. Never lose yourself in pursuit of all-round looks.
Personality development cannot be changed by simply having a dose of medicine. It also cannot be changed overnight. This comes to accumlation overtime and fight yourself. When the ideal self and the real self finally reached the final combination, that becomes self-realization – I finally changed myself!